Yes, believe it or not, I’m actually looking forward to getting a Vasectomy. I’m not a sadist – I’m just really excited about my appointment and I’m about to tell you why.
As men, we are tasked with simply carrying the seed of life, whilst our counterparts are tasked with forming said life over 9 months. We men get our 7 minutes in heaven and then it’s smooth sailing. Right?
I mean, prior to birth, we only need to sacrifice our ears to our partners who berate us for not having morning sickness, not struggling to fit in clothes and not being subject to mood swings of epic proportions. Men in the lead up to birth get a pretty easy ride… Nope!
If you’re anything like me you have spent those 9 months carrying the weight of the world. From worry about the health of your partner & your unborn child to every day practicalities of life with a new child. The cost, the lack of sleep, the strained relationships, the energy: these are all worries and concerns for dads. It’s just we choose to keep them bottled up internally, either to not burden our partners or because we just don’t know how to express them, particularly to someone who cries at the slightest thing.
I mean how can we really complain or unburden when she’s taken this great responsibility on? What do our emotions or feelings matter? However, carrying that for 9 months can have a significant impact.
So here are my 5 reasons for going under the knife.
1. I don’t want anymore kids.
Plain and simple. My wife and I have discussed this one back and forth. Though she’d like more, mostly because she loves being pregnant and getting maternity leave. We’ve agreed that the snip doesn’t stop us from having more children. Adopting or fostering I’m open to, but I do not want to create any more kids. There are plenty of kids in the world already that could use our care, love and attention. I think if this family is going to grow then it will be one of those kids that joins rather than another mini-me.
2. I’ve just got my wife back.
So for the first 3 months of pregnancy I lost my wife to a bowl or toilet who became her new best friend. If she wasn’t being sick she was tired. Months 3-6 weren’t so bad but this is when the energy seems to drop. Nesting is kicking in now too, every conversation is baby-oriented. Months 6-9 the energy has gone and the being within the other half has started to kick about and interact in ways that men will never know. Rightly so our partners have to prioritise their time & energy and rarely does it involve us.
18 months on and the breast feeding has stopped, our second child is now in a decent enough sleeping pattern, sex is back on the cards and we’re just about feeling human again. Why would I want to go and ruin that? Which brings me to…
3. Not starting again
This involves going back to a time of no sleep, constant nappies, the sick, social isolation, the bottle cycle (make the bottle, feed the baby, clean the bottle, sterilise the bottle, prep for next feed and repeat 4 times a day) and of course baby food… enough said! I won’t go back and you can’t make me.
4. Contraception – Disclaimer: I fully suggest you don’t refer to me for you’re contraception advice. Please see Family Planning Advice
or visit your GP/Sexual Health clinic.
Condoms are no fun and they are not 100% effective. That’s not a risk I’m willing to take anymore. The ‘getting off at Haymarket’ approach is a lovely Scottish term which involves leaving the train before your intended destination. Again too risky and also too tempting to go all the way to Waverly. The Pill affects different women in different ways but the side effects aren’t something we’re willing to put up with. And finally, the ‘Coil’ which involves inserting copper into the missus to make her womb an ‘inhospitable environment’…WTF! No thanks.
5. It’s JUST getting better
You know what, after nearly 4 years of being a parent I’m starting to feel good about it. I love my kids, I love being a dad but it’s damn hard too. The pressure, mostly applied by me, to be a good parent can be overwhelming at times. I worry so much about development, about their mental health, about their eating and physical health. My daughter at 18 months is starting to develop a great wee personality and my son is my world. He makes me laugh daily and the anxiety is starting to die down. Why would I want to disturb that?
So there you have it. I’m done, game over, enough’s enough, I’m out! As I stated in a recent Blended Parent Network Blog ‘Take me down to snip city, where the scissors are clean and the procedure’s a quicky’ Sung to the tune of Guns ‘n’ Roses – Paradise City
If you are considering getting a Vasectomy know that there are risks and there is a possibility that it might not work. For more, professional information please visit Mayo Clinic.
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